Key Tips for Effective 1-on-1 Conversations
Some of the most important conversations you’ll have as a leader won’t happen in a meeting room. They’ll happen one-on-one.
Whether it’s a regular check-in, a conversation about performance, working through a challenge, or simply asking someone how things are going, effective 1-on-1 conversations are an important part of building trust and understanding within your team.
They don’t need to be complicated, but they do need your attention.
Here are six simple things to keep in mind.
1. Listen actively
There’s a difference between hearing someone and actually listening to them. Give the person your full attention.
Put distractions aside, resist the temptation to jump in with your own solution, and use simple acknowledgements to show you’re following.
Summarising what you’ve heard can also be useful: “So, what I’m hearing is…” It gives the other person an opportunity to clarify anything you may have misunderstood.
2. Ask open-ended questions
The questions you ask can completely change the conversation.
Instead of questions that lead to a quick yes or no, try ones that encourage the other person to think and share more.
“What did you find most challenging about this project?”
“What do you think would help?”
“How are you feeling about where things are at?”
And remember, once you’ve asked the question, give them time to answer. You don’t always need to fill the silence.
3. Show empathy
You don’t have to agree with everything someone says to acknowledge how they’re feeling.
Sometimes a simple “I can understand why that would be frustrating” can go a long way.
4. Keep the conversation focused
Allow room for the conversation to develop naturally, but keep coming back to what actually needs to be discussed. If something important comes up that needs more time, make a note and agree to come back to it separately.
5. Pay attention to your body language
Communication isn’t only about what you say. Eye contact, facial expressions, posture and even whether you’re checking the time or your phone can all send a message about how engaged you are in the conversation.
Think about what your body language is communicating alongside your words.
6. Follow up
A good conversation loses some of its value if nothing happens afterwards.
If you’ve agreed on an action, make sure it happens. If you’ve said you’ll find something out, come back with an answer. And if the conversation needs another check-in, put it in the diary.
Good conversations are a leadership skill
Effective 1-on-1s aren’t about having the perfect script or always knowing exactly what to say.
They’re about being present, asking good questions, listening properly and following through.
Like most leadership skills, the more intentionally you practise them, the better you become.
What’s one thing you’ve found makes a real difference in your 1-on-1 conversations?
If you’d like to develop practical skills like these further, you can also check out my Online Leadership Training Course.