Most of us have been in a situation where we know a conversation needs to happen, but we keep putting it off because it feels uncomfortable and we may not know how to tackle it.
As a leader, you might feel nervous about approaching it the right way or worry about upsetting a team member.
The trouble is, avoiding a conversation rarely makes the issue disappear. Often, it allows small frustrations, mistakes or misunderstandings to grow into something bigger, ultimately leading to an even more difficult conversation down the track. It also builds up in your mind to be probably a bigger issue than it actually is.
Just last week, a leader contacted me to say that he had given feedback to a team member more directly, rather than allowing the person to avoid owning or responding to the feedback, as he normally would have done.
This was after our workshop together on giving feedback and having tough conversations.
He knew his style would lean towards kindness and peacekeeping, rather than encouraging the person to own their error and work out a way to resolve the issue.
Now, the leader feels much more confident in his ability to handle these difficult discussions, rather than letting things go and hoping they 'just come right'.
Having an uncomfortable conversation doesn't need to start with sitting someone down for a formal meeting involving HR!
Sometimes, a forthright and clear conversation in the moment will lead to some ongoing conversations that get to the bottom of the issue.
Always approach these conversations with curiosity and a willingness to listen, rather than assuming we already know the full story. You might be surprised at what you learn about the other person.
These conversations can also be valuable learning opportunities for leaders themselves. By being open to another person's perspective, we might uncover something we hadn't considered, recognise where we could have communicated better or discover ways to improve how we support our team to be the best versions of themselves.
Ultimately, this helps the team, you as the leader and the business/organisation.
'It’s nearly the end of year', I hear you say. 'What if I leave it till the next performance conversation in March, as things might improve by then.'
Let's not avoid these conversations just because we are nearing the summer holidays.
Be brave, prepare well, and you just might get a way better outcome than you expect.